


Great Destruction

by Airuna



Series: Shadowhunters Oneshots [10]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x10 Coda, Alec is a good boyfriend, Angst?, Coda, Complicated Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus has complicated feelings towards his father, as much as i can write it, but also Asmodeus loves Magnus, complicated father and son dynamics, episode fic, magnus talks about his childhood, magnus talks about his father, manipulative Asmodeus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airuna/pseuds/Airuna
Summary: Alec wakes up after being healed by Catarina and he and Magnus talk about his past.Or,My take on what happened when Asmodeus took Magnus in as a child.





	Great Destruction

**Author's Note:**

> The title is, like you've sure noticed, a reference to Magnus' name. This fic is just him telling Alec about his childhood with Asmodeus because I have a lot of feelings and headcanons about that since it was mentioned. Also how great was Asmodeus on the show? I must have rewatched his scenes at least a hundred times. We need him to come back at season four and not just so he can give Magnus his magic and immortality back. Really what's with shadowhunters and making me love problematic parents? Fist Maryse and now Asmodeus. Hell let's throw Lilith there too. Lukily Luke is anything but problematic so I love at least a cinamon roll. This fic has been beta'd by alecisgay who makes sure it's actually writen in english and not in whatever pseudo-language I invent every time I try to write.

“He’ll be okay.” Magnus sighed, relaxing into Catarina's hand on his shoulder. 

"Thank you,” he breathed. “If you hadn’t gotten there in time…” He shook his head, trying to forget the feeling of helplessness, the blood coating his hands while he uselessly held Alec.

“I did and Alec’s fine,” Cat said firmly, knowing exactly what was going on on his head. “And it’s the least I could do, if I hadn’t suggested Asmodeus…”

“I would have reached that idea on my own, I couldn’t let Alec kill Jace nor could I let Lilith run wild in New York with such a weapon,” he smiled softly at his oldest friend. “I’ll be okay, you know I’ve been through worse.” The both winced at the memories that comment brought up. “Go home, Sweet Pea must be missing you.”

Catarina kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back tomorrow to strengthen the wards on your home.”

Magnus nodded and tried not to jump when Catarina opened a portal he couldn’t feel even though it was inside his wards. His eyes moved towards the sleeping shadowhunter in his bed, he didn’t regret it. He couldn’t regret. But that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, that he didn’t feel hollow and defenseless, and worse of all, like a stranger.

“Magnus…” Alec’s voice brought him back from his thoughts and he frowned when he tried to raise his injured arm to grab his hand.

“I’m here,” he said quickly grabbing the offered hand and carefully letting it rest on the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asked anxiously.

Alec ignored the question. “Your magic…”

“It’s gone,” Magnus confirmed.

“I’m so…”

“Don’t apologize.” Alec frowned. “Look, can we wait until you’ve recovered a bit to have this discussion?” Alec didn’t look very pleased by that idea. “We’ll talk about it, I promise, just give me a bit more time?”

Alec nodded. “Do you want to talk about seeing your father?”

Magnus let out a dry chuckle. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Magnus…” Alec was using his ‘done with your bullshit’ tone and Magnus sighed. Well, it probably would do him some good to have this talk, if only to put his thoughts on anything resembling order.

“He hugged me,” why had he lead with that? Alec nodded, trying to move closer to him. “He thought I was there to apologize,” he laughed at that. “Like I owed him that.”

“You don’t,” Alec assured him, matter of factly.

“He actually seemed hurt that what I wanted was a favor,” it was stupid really, his father was a demon, a prince of hell nonetheless. “I shouldn’t feel bad for letting him down. I didn’t when I asked, I was too disgusted to.”

“You said he took you in as a child,” Alec promoted. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Magnus nodded. “I was lost and not just because I didn’t have a place to sleep or anyone looking after me. I spent my days with my head down, dreading anyone seeing my eyes. Those who did either ran away from me scared or yelled at me, like my step father had, some even threw rocks at me to get me to leave.” Alec was frowning, looking like all he wanted to do was take Magnus somewhere safe and protect him from the world and he felt the weight of those memories lessen a bit. “I was hungry, cold and scared and I didn’t dare to use my powers, not after what I had done to my stepfather. That’s when Asmodeus found me.”

“At your most vulnerable,” Alec murmured sadly.

“He showed me his eyes, he said that they made me special, that out of all his children, I was the only one worthy of being his son,” his tone turned bitter at the memory. “And he asked me if I wanted to go home. Home. I just wanted to please him so much, the one person who liked what had driven my mom to suicide and my stepfather to hate me. I desperately wanted to belong somewhere.”

“And even if it meant losing a part of yourself you wanted him to be proud of you,” Alec finished and Magnus smiled sadly, yeah, out of everyone he knew, Alec was probably the one who got it better.

“Then training started and at the beginning it was fun,” he admitted through the foul taste on his mouth. “He taught me how to read and how magic worked and it was easy, so easy. Soon I was able to understand several demonic languages and my father couldn’t have been prouder of me. He said that I was gifted, that I was smart, and I basked on his praise. The practical part was also fun, which kid doesn’t enjoy blowing things up? And I was in Edom, it wasn’t like creating small volcanoes or earthquakes had any real consequences beside my father’s smile.”

“It does sound fun,” Alec told him genuinely. “After I learned the fire rune I took any excuse I could to set things on fire too. Mom was pretty mad at me when I destroyed my desk.”

Magnus laughed at that. “I see Max takes after you then.”

“Don’t tell him though,” Alec winked at him. “What happened after that?”

“We moved onto torture and murder,” Magnus said, holding Alec’s gaze, trying to see any traces of disgust or fear there. “It wasn’t so bad, at the beginning, we were in Edom, so it was demons I hurt and they looked like monsters out of my worst nightmares. Not like me. Not like my father. And the more I made them scream, the happier he was and the more affection I got. He was actually the first person that hugged me, as far as I can recall. The first person that tucked me into my bed to sleep. And if my nightmares where full of the screams I heart during the day… well,” he shrugged his shoulders, “he was always there when I woke up.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” Alec told him softly. “I was trained to kill demons since the time I could walk, I’m not going to run away screaming because you were too. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Magnus smiled. This man was just something else. 

“What happened then?”

“I met Azazel.” And now wasn’t the time to be remembering what had happened last time he had seen this particular greater demon. “He and my father were allies in some war going on in Edom so he came to our house. I remember that I was scared, I didn’t like him nor the way he looked at me. I stuck by my father’s side and he seemed pleased by that, not letting Azazel get too close to me. But after their business was concluded the topic of conversation turned towards me and the way they talked… I didn’t know what was going on, I just knew that I didn’t like the tone of my father’s voice when he talked about how promising I was. Nor did I like Azazel’s calculating eyes. For the first time since my father had taken me in I felt alone, I felt like a stranger, a curiosity.” 

“You’re not alone. You won’t be alone ever again,” vowed Alec squeezing his hand. 

“I know. And looking back, I’m glad that happened. It lead me to eventually open my eyes to what my father was and what his plans for me were.”

“How did that happen? I can’t imagine it was easy to banish him, not after all that grooming.”

“Once he had won his war he decided it was time we returned to the mundane word,” Alec tensed beneath his touch. “And it’s not that fun to blow up a building when people are running away scared, no matter how powerful it makes you feel. And when he brought me a mundane to torture I just couldn’t do it. I  _ refused  _ to do it. He told me he was disappointed in me and made me watch as he did it. I ended up puking afterwards, but that night... the thought that didn’t let me sleep was that I had disappointed my father, and what if he got tired of me? What if he casted me out?” Magnus chuckled darkly. “It went on for weeks, him trying to make me hurt mundanes, making me watch as he did, and I started to realize what a monster he was. The last straw was when he killed a warlock child, one that had our eyes, because he wasn’t strong enough. And I just realized that that could just as easily have been me if some of my brothers and sisters had been stronger than I am.”

“But it wasn’t, you’re here, you’re safe.” Alec kissed his knuckles gently.

“Yeah, I am.” Magnus nodded. “And that’s mostly because I managed to banish him to where he belongs. Still, it was hard back then. I knew he was a monster, that he wanted me to become a monster. But he was also my first teacher, the first person to show me affection, the first person to make me feel special instead of abominable. And, believed or not, the first person who actually loved me, even if it was in his own twisted, unhealthy way.”

“If this war with Lilith has taught us anything, it’s taught us Greater Demons take themselves very seriously as parents,” joked Alec trying to make him smile. “It’s okay to love someone, even if you hate them at the same time, you know.”

“I shouldn’t though, he’s only ever created destruction.”

“That’s not true, he created you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I should say that the idea for the ending comes from a prompt of Ketz who's been gracious enough to let me use it (and seriously if you haven't already read her fics go and do it, it'll be worth you're time I promise). I hope you enjoyed it and please leave me kudos or comments if you feel like it!


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